Previous Post – Oaths, Eyes & Enemies – SOTM Series (6)

One day, a young monk knocked quietly on the door to the abbots study.  The old abbot smiled in welcome to the new brother who had just made his permanent vows several months earlier.  The abbot knew immediately that the young man was troubled, so he invited him to sit and share what was bothering him.

“Father Abbot, I know that living with the other brothers is not always easy- that it is not meant to be easy.  However, it is Brother Anselm.  It seems that nothing I can do is good enough for him.  He find fault in everything I do.  What should I do, Father?”

“How long has this been going on, Brother?” asked the abbot.

“For more than 4 months.  Every day of every week of each long month!”  At this, the old man smiled a sympathetic and understanding smile, patting the young man’s folded hands.

“Here is what you must do: You must love Brother Anselm- every day of every week of each long month.  After a time, if you feel you must, come and talk to me again.  In the meantime, love him.”

The young man left the abbot’s study pondering these words of simple wisdom.  His zeal renewed, he dedicated himself to loving Brother Anselm every day of every week of each long month.  And so the months pasts, as did the seasons.

Some time later, the young monk returned the abbots study, again exasperated by the unending complaints and criticisms of Brother Anselm.  He had done his best to love him, but nothing had changed.  Pleadingly, he asked the abbot for wisdom.

“How long has this been going on, Brother?” asked the abbot.

“For more than 3 years.  Every day of every week of every month for all these years!”

“Here is what you must do: You must love Brother Anselm- every day of every week of every month of every year.  After a time, if you feel you must, come and talk to me again.  In the meantime, love him.”

Again the young brother left the abbot.  While his fervor had cooled, his vow of obedience was clear.  So he rededicated himself to loving Brother Anselm every day of every week of every month of every year.  And again, nothing changed in Brother Anselm’s behavior.  Every few years the monk would return to the abbot for wisdom and every year the abbot would say the same thing:

“Here is what you must do: You must love Brother Anselm- every day of every week of every month of every year.  After a time, if you feel you must, come and talk to me again.  In the meantime, love him.”

One day, the monk returned again, no longer a young man, but now himself as old as the abbot had been when he had first made his profession.  The abbot, aged beyond imagination, welcomed him in, inviting him to sit with him.  He no longer had to ask what was bothering the brother.

“Father Abbot, I know that living with the other brothers is not always easy- that it is not meant to be easy.  Brother Anselm will not be moved!  For so long I have tried to love him as you have directed, but to no avail.  It seems that the harder I seek to love him, the harder his heart becomes.  I am at a loss!  What should I do, Father?”

“How long has this been going on, Brother?” asked the abbot.

“Father abbot, it has been more than 40 years!”  At this, the old man smiled a sympathetic and understanding smile, patting the other monks folded hands and said:

“And after 40 years, you still expect him to change?”