Previous Post – What is the Gospel? King Jesus Gospel

One of the most immediate lessons that becoming the parent of a toddler overnight has taught me is this: I am a selfish person.  It’s true.  Suddenly, my life must, by necessity, revolved almost wholly around this adorable, oft-times cranky, fascinating and obstinate little person.  And as a result of 2 hours of sleep at night, coupled with a constant need to keep him occupied during the day, I have had little to no time for many of things that I so deeply love- not just the empty time-wasters like TV or reading escapist fiction.  Rather, the things I am most deeply passionate about- writing, teaching, pastoring, justice and much more.

Granted, this season is particularly demanding and I know I will get back many of those things I have to put aside now.  However, even then, I will never have the same freedom I had before Micah arrived in our lives.  Of course, I love him and wouldn’t trade him for a world of freedom.  The truth is, though, such necessary selflessness and sacrifice doesn’t feel at all as noble as it sounds.  In fact, at times, it downright sucks.  I want what I want.  Yet, no amount of complaining, avoidance or rationalization is going to change the necessity of putting my own desires aside (even the godly ones) to serve the greater need of parenting this fragile, precious young boy.

It is sometimes all too easy for us to quote the noble commitments in Scripture about following Jesus:

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Phil. 1:21

“If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.” Luke 9:23

“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13

Again, they sound noble and inspiring.  And quite often, we are more than willing to live them out- on our own terms.  Yet the obedience that Christ calls us to is often one of painful self-sacrifice.  We remember that Jesus’ sacrifice included his painful suffering and death- that is critical to the heart of the Gospel, after all!  However, we often forget that His sacrifice also included the life He did not get to live.  Even Jesus- very God Himself!- prayed, “Not my will, but Yours be done”.

In our culture of volunteerism and shallow customer loyalty, it is all too easy for us to miss the gravity of what it means to truly decrease.  Yes, God will give us life in its fullest, but in His way, in His time and on His terms.  Obedience to His will for our lives will be costly.  We won’t like it.  We will balk against it.  Why else does He refer to it as taking up our cross, if not to face a very real death?  And yet, collectively, unspoken, we set the bar lower, easier, cleaner.  With this new definition of faith, we abstractionalize the cross into something other than the brutal reality it is.

This post could easily sound like it was written by a grumpy fundamentalist who won’t validate faith unless it makes you miserable.  That is not my intent.  Rather, in our culture of self-indulgence and quick-fixes, we are too prone to missing the hard truth of discipleship.  It is a path that leads to the cross- pain, loss, suffering and death, every time.  Yet we continue- not out of some self-abusive hope that our suffering balances out our sin, but rather because we know that only in sharing in the death of Christ can we ever hope to truly discover resurrection life.

Parenting is hard, especially in the context of an internationally adopted toddler.  It exposes my selfishness day by day, moment by moment.  Yet, when I see the costs through the lens of the cross and resurrection, I see that I am serving Christ in every loving, patient, long-suffering act of care giving.  And, as I choose to rejoice in that truth, I discover my heart and mind and actions begin to look more and more like the Jesus I serve.

Such a paradox to be reborn, to die to self and yet to mourn…

Previous Post – Family Update

Adopting a three year old from Ethiopia is already an amazing adventure.  Yet it is also a journey filled with genuine challenges and difficulties.  Most are like the challenges facing all parents, while a few are unique to adoption, especially when child comes from so different a culture and context.

Being three, Micah has fully developed his Amharic language speaking skills.  The little chatter box is never without something to say.  As wonderful as this is, his inability to understand everything we say to him often leaves him confused, frustrated and even upset.  Combine that with the logic of a toddler and the “fun” begins.  Even given the fact that I better recognize the barriers and a much higher capacity to understand him than he me, my words don’t always make it through his limited abilities to make sense of the world around him.  While using his own language is helpful, even that doesn’t always bridge the gap.

In the end, actions speak louder than words.  Stroking his hair as he cries at night.  Tickling his belly as we play in the backyard.  Even yanking him to safety as he makes a dangerous lunge off the sidewalk.  He doesn’t always appreciate these non-verbals and sometimes he doesn’t always know what they mean.  However, the loving presence of his parents shape- in joy and discipline- the person he is becoming whether he understands it or not.

I think, perhaps, our experience with God is very similar.  Our own logic and understanding are perfectly clear to us, yet in light of the infinite nature of who God is, we are far more simple than any three year old.  God uses language familiar to us, communicating His loving truth in ways we can start to understand and embrace.  And yet, while not devaluing Scripture in the slightest, even the Bible is hugely limited in its ability express the fullness of our infinite Creator.

Again, actions speak louder than words.  The presence of His Spirit- both in our being and through the community of faith- comforting us in the midst of brokenness and suffering.  Celebrating our lives through new life, hope, peace and goodness.  Even pulling us up short by the conscience when we begin to make choices apart from His greater good and perfect will.  We don’t always appreciate these non-verbal queues and sometimes we don’t even recognize them when they happen.  However, the loving presence of our Father God shape- in both joy and discipline- the people we are meant to be, whether we understand it or not.

And so, if this loving, gracious and long-suffering God extends Himself to us, how much more should we extend to those in the world around us?  While not paternalistically (as only God is our Father), we need to both communicate and demonstrate the Good News in ways that are best understood by our neighbours.  With actions speaking louder than words, we must match the proclamation of the Gospel with the embodiment of the love, grace and patience that is our God.

I know that this is difficult.  Tired from sleepless nights and defiant tantrums by my boy, I can become easily cranky, short and impatient.  If I can become this way with my own child, how much more will I be with strangers who God has entrusted me to loving alongside Him?  And so grace and humility and the loving support of a Spirit-filled community is so necessary.

Thank you, Father God.  I pray that I will be a son worthy of bearing the name Christian.

Previous Post – Three Messages for Women

I wanted to quickly drop a note here on the blog to catch people up on our family news.  As many of you know, Kim returned to Canada this week with our new son, Micah, a three year old Ethiopian (& now Canadian, as well).  She was joined by her folks from Australia.  The journey home was “hellish”, so they are all still recovering from head colds & jet lag.  However, they are all quite happy to be settling in.

Like any new parent, I could go ON and ON about how much I love my amazing, beautiful, bundle-of-energy son.  However, since I did just that on Facebook recently, I’ll leave with a simple “Thank You”.  Thank you for all your prayers, support, encouragement and kindness to us through this adoption journey.  The next leg of our life journey begins now!

I hope to be back blogging more regularly in the next 10-15 years.  Peace!

Previous Post – New Comment Policy

Hey everyone!  As I am sure you know, while I am at home writing this, my wife is in Ethiopia picking up our son, Micah.  She took him into custody a few hours ago and will be bringing him home on the 15th.  I am so excited.  Please pray that the travel visa arrives on time.

It is also my greatest pleasure to share with you first family photo (taken on our last trip to Ethiopia).  Introducing Micah James Nigatu Arpin-Ricci:

Previous Post – Mission, Activism & the Prodigal Son

As most of you know, for more than 5 years now, my wife & I have been pursuing international adoption.  We initially chose the Ethiopia program after much prayer & consideration, especially given our many Ethiopian neighbours in the community.  As a bonus, the costs & time frames were also much more manageable for our “missionary lifestyle”.  And so we set our path in that direction.

At the beginning of that process, we knew that we would have to rely on fund raising to help us get to our goal.  We decided to set our sights at a significant portion of the costs- $20,000- and started the Adopt-a-Pixel website with the help of my amazing brother, Troy.  While the $20,000 was not even close to the full amount, we knew it would help a great deal.

And then things started to change.  For reasons out of our control, the time line for Ethiopian adoption went way up, carrying the costs along with it.  As the costs increased, we decided not to increase our fund raising goal.  The unexpected “advantage” of the delays was that we were slowly able to keep saving.

As of 9:45 tonight, we official reached our $20,000 goal! Thank you all SO much for your prayers, support, encouragement and generosity.  The amazing sacrifices people made to get us here- not the least of which was the heroic family baseball team!- humbled & blessed us throughout.  We could not have done it without you.  While the costs surpass the amount raised, we feel confident that we will be able to meet our needs without going into debt, which was our commitment from the beginning.

For those who don’t know, we are now simply waiting for the Canadian government to release a travel visa, which we hope to receive this next week (no promises).  Once we get that, tickets will be immediately booked & we will be bringing our little Micah home!

Again, thank you so very, very, very much!  Peace & all good!

Previous Post – Missional Opportunity

Kim & I on the morning before court

First, let me apologize for being so negligent in blogging of late.  Having returned from Ethiopia with some health issues (now resolved) and my continued battle with insomnia, I have just not been clear headed enough.  However, with Father’s Day just around the corner, I thought it would be fitting to post an adoption update.

Our trip to Ethiopia was amazing, but something of a whirlwind.  We were really encouraged to find that a few other adoptive families were staying at our hotel.  They became (and remain) friends, enjoying each others company & supporting each other during the days in country.  We cannot overstate how great it was hanging out with people who just “get it”.

In order for the adoption to be completed legally in Ethiopia, three things had to happen: the child’s birth family/guardian had to appear in court to assure the process was legitimate; we had to show up in court & makes statements about our commitment to the child; the Ethiopian Ministry of Women’s Affairs needed to release a letter approving the adoption.  When we arrived at court, we learned that step one had been completed the week before.  We proceeded (as a group!) to do step two.  Unfortunately, the judge told us that our letter from MOWA had not yet arrived.

We were then able to meet Micah for the first time and spend a couple of days with him.  He is the most amazing, affectionate and wildly active little 3 year old in the world!  The first day we spent 2.5 hours with him & slept for 7 hours that night!  For my insomniac ways, that is UNHEARD OF!  It was a magical few days where we fell in love with him even more than we thought possible.  Sadly, we had to say goodbye, trying to explain that we would be back.

Yesterday (now back in Canada), we received the phone call that step three was completed.  We heard the words we have been longing to hear: “He is yours!”  The adoption is now absolutely complete & final from a legal perspective.  All that remains is for our file to be sent to the Canadian Consulate in Kenya, where they will release a travel visa for Micah to come home.  We are hoping we will be bringing him home no later than September (but it could be much longer).

With the final stages nearing completion, we are now hitting the last stage of our fund raising.  Our original goal was $20,000 to cover a portion of our costs.  We are SO blessed to have already raised around $13,000!  Since we started (nearly 5 years ago), the costs for adoption have went way up, but feel that we can keep our goal at only the remaining $7000, as we have had more time to save for the extra costs.  If you are interested in helping out, please visit Adopt-A-Pixel or contact me for more details.

More details to follow soon.  Thanks to everyone who has prayed, given & encouraged us in this long process.  It’s almost done!

Previous Post – Romanticism, Familiarity & Faith

Several years ago, after living through a tragic miscarriage, the unexpected abortion of child we had planned to privately adopt & several other failed attempts to start our family, Kim & I made the decision to pursue adoption from Ethiopia.  At the time, the time line was not expected to be more than a couple of years tops.  That was five years ago.

The past five year have been filled with anticipation, impatience, longing and joy.  Then, just before this last Christmas we received the call from the agency.  We were going to be adopting a beautiful 3 year old boy- Micah James Nigatu Arpin-Ricci.  After so long, the relatively brief wait until we bring him home (hopefully around November) seems an eternity.  We long to share our life with this precious gift of God.

This rapidly approaching event, however, also brings with it the many challenges.  The biggest we face is the cost.  As long term missionaries, we’ve live our lives very simply, managing to live on far less than the average couple, finding ways to subsidize our missions support whenever possible.  The expense of adopting is significant for most people- for us it seemed impossible.  However, to start our family, we would have paid double!

So many of you have already been very generous in your faithful financial support of us as missionaries (which also works to our child’s long term well being).  And many of you have also stood with us in our adoption fund raising endeavors.  We would like to ask you to stand with us again, as we now face some significant costs to finish this journey and bring our little boy home.

Please visit Adopt-a-Pixel to donate directly to this journey.  The remaining costs represent more than I receive in missions support in a single years, so it feels daunting.  However, we know that God provides, often through amazing people like you.

Thanks so much!

Previous Post – Godly Leadership

While word has spread far and wide already (via Facebook & Twitter, not to mention amply excited family), I thought it would be appropriate to share the news officially here at the blog:  After nearly 4 years in process, last week we received our adoption referral from Ethiopia! For those not sure what that means, it means that a specific child has been selected for us and we were given name, age and a photo.

So we are proud to announce that we will be adopting a beautiful 3 year old boy.  Micah James Nigatu Arpin-Ricci will hopefully be coming home to us in the next 6-9 months, so please pray that all goes well.  We still have to make two trips to Ethiopia and go through a great deal of paper work, but it will all be very much worth it.  We are thrilled beyond words!

With such news there are always all sorts of questions, some of which we can answer, some of which we have no answer and others we will choose not to answer (more on that in future posts), but here’s a few details:

• While we hoped to keep his birth name, Nigatu, we’ve decided to use it as one of his middle names.  This is because of potential misuse of his name in some (obviously) inappropriate ways.  We chose Micah James Nigatu as a result.
• We cannot post pictures online yet (including via email), but if you see us in person, we can show his picture.  Once the process has gone a bit further, we’ll be able to share those pictures online.  Thanks for your patience!
• Details about his past, such as his birth family, reasons for adoption, etc., are personal and private.  Therefore we won’t be giving that information out, but rather we will allow Micah decide who, when and what he shares as he comes of age.  I know everyone is curious, but we know you will respect that decision.

While we can’t give you all the details or a picture, there is something we can assure you.  He is healthy, happy and extremely handsome!  We’ll keep you posted!

P.S. We are still working to raise the funds to make this adoption possible.  If you are interested in helping out, visit our Adopt-A-Pixel website and join our Facebook group here.

P.P.S. The title of this post was inspired by the very wonderful folks at my publisher, IVPress, in their blog announcement & congratulations.  Thanks all!

Previous Post – Missional Living & Idealism

Father’s Day.  Today is a day for which I have very mixed feelings.  On the one hand, I have been blessed to have a wonderful, loving and supporting father.  My brother, a new father himself, is clearly devoted to my nephew in every way.  Even my father-in-law is an exemplary Dad who has always supported his kids (and me) in every way (though as an Australian, he won’t be celebrating Father’s Day for several months yet).  In no way do I want to take away from the honour these men and others deserve.

However, I have to admit that this day leaves me unsettled.  Of course, part of that is selfish.  I so desperately want to be a father myself, yet face hurdle after hurdle in seeing that happen.  I see people in our community who manage to have children so easily, all too often unexpected and even unwanted.  Most of all I remember the loss of our first child during pregnancy, imagining what she or he might look like today.  I grieve that, because they did not survive to birth that we are often expected to act as though they never were- nameless, forgotten.  Never forgotten by Kim & I.

Beyond my own personal reasons, I also see how many people around me either do not have their fathers in their lives, whether through death, abandonment or estrangement.  For a church where the median age in the mid-20’s, the number of people whose fathers are no longer part of their lives is heart breaking.  And then there are those whose father are part of their lives, but are relationships defined by disappointment, abuse, rejection and disinterest.  For all of these, this day can be salt in an ever open wound.

Part of me- the cynical, wounded part- wants to reject this day altogether, but I cannot. For all the brokenness that I see related to fathers, I am also convinced that this very brokenness cuts so deep precisely because of the importance of fatherhood.  While not to be confused with some kind of statement on the gender identity of God, that He so significantly identifies as Father also reinforces the importance of fatherhood to our own identity and wholeness.

It is with this significance in mind that we must understand our call, as the Church, to be fathers to the fatherless.  This is not a poetic way of saying that we need to fund orphanages and combat divorce trends.  Both of these things are good, but when God calls us to be a father to the fatherless, He calls us to follow His example of genuine relationship and sacrificial love.  He calls us to an active love that blasts through the boundaries of cultural propriety and familial loyalties- not the detriment or neglect of our own families, but through the conviction that God is calling us to a devotion to Him and others that must rival all others.

Our world is filled with the fatherless- and in more than just the literal meaning.  This is call to extend the Father’s love to others is not some project or program that interested Christian might get involved with, but rather it is a defining characteristic of what it means to follow Jesus Christ.  And it is a commitment that should not be driven by guilt (though conviction for our failing to do so is surely important), but driven by the same thing that drove Christ to pay the highest price for us:

Love.

Previous Post – Weekend Linkage #4

This week’s gathering of Little Flowers Community, our inner city church plant, was a real reflection of the unique life of our group.  First, our wandering homeless friend Chris was back in town.  It was his birthday on Friday, so I told him that I would get him a big cake with candles.  He was so excited he invited a group of his buddies to join us (convincing them that we weren’t some creepy cult).  When several of his friends agreed to come, he ran out to buy groceries to make his famous “Poor Man’s Soup”, as I wanted to contribute to the potluck.  Amazing guy.

With these fun loving guys added to the potluck, the language was a lot more colourful, which we are hardly notice, but our other guests had to adjust to.  It was really neat to see such different people enjoying a meal and each others company.  After the meal, we sang Happy Birthday to Chris.  He & his buddies decided to take off before worship, but they said they might join us again.  I guess we weren’t too cultish after all!

I put aside this week’s planned sermon/discussion and had a time of community sharing.  We centered it around James 5.  Are any of you happy?  Sing songs of praise!  And so we celebrated and prayed blessings on Andrew & Rachel, newlyweds in the church who have been part of Little Flowers since before we officially started.  It was good to commit to them as a couple to stand with them as a community, even in the face of many challenges.

Are any of you sick?  Lay hands and prayer for them.  The evening became a little more somber as Delia (who with her husband have been a huge support to Kim & I as leaders) shared that she had been diagnosed with the early stages of cancer.  While the prognosis is very good, it is nonetheless scary for them and all of us.  Delia shared this with the group:

________________________

For the past several months—more specifically weeks, I’ve been walking under a somewhat overcast sky. Not that there hasn’t been bright sunshine. Sometimes conditions have been so beautiful I could almost convince myself there were no clouds overhead, ever. But the clouds were never far away.

At this point my main prayer request is that I will be ruled by God’s peace and not by fear, and that this thing won’t become too all consuming. There is still a lot of other stuff to attend to and living to enjoy.

________________________

While not nearly as devastating, Kim & I also learned some disappointing news this week: the adoption process is slowing down, making the likely time that we will bring our child home from Ethiopia closer to October 2010.  It was comforting to sit together with John & Delia last night sharing our mutual struggles, encouraging and praying for each other.

Last week also saw the closing of The Dusty Cover.  For those who missed the Winnipeg Free Press story, it was online in Fredericton (no idea), found here.  While we are sad to see it close, we also know it will be reborn into something new in the year to come.

As a community we continue to share life together, both the joys and the suffering.  I love our community, even though there are times of heaviness and frustration.  Keep us in your prayers!