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Shortly after his dramatic conversion, while St. Francis was working hard at rebuilding the chapel of St. Damiano, his family was searching for him everywhere. When Francis’ father learned that his son was living like a beggar while rebuilding an abandon old church, he was furiously angry and decided that he would drag his deranged son home and set him straight. When Francis learned that his father was coming to take him home, he fled into hiding, residing in a cold, wet cave for a month with friends providing food and water. During that month, Francis prayed with great fervency that God would deliver him from his father. His desire was to serve God alone, so prayed that God would save him from his father. After a month, Francis was suddenly filled with a great peace. Leaving the cave, he went into Assisi and told him father, along with the whole community, that he had given his life in service of God, renouncing his wealth and privilege to live among the poor as their brother. This news with met with mockery, rejection and great anger, especially by his father. However, in the end, Francis was free to continue his pursuit of service to God.
This story highlights something fairly critical about prayer. As Francis prayed for God to intervene in the crisis, he asked that his father would leave him alone to pursue his calling. God answered Francis’ prayer, but instead of changing his father’s heart, he changed Francis’. The young saint was filled with the peace to face his enemies, even when mocked and abused. God did not turn circumstances to meet Francis’ needs, but rather changed Francis’ heart to be able to face the true cost of his devotion. I once heard it said (perhaps by C.S. Lewis) that we pray not to turn God’s heart towards us, but to turn our hearts towards God.
As face the realities of each day, I want to better embrace a life of prayer, not out of religious obligation nor out of a desire to receive what I want from God. Rather, I pray that I might better come to know God and, in so doing, become more like Him. I want to die to my own impulse to turn to God only in my need, desperately seeking His intervention, while ignoring His call to me to intervene as His Body in the suffering of a lost and dying world.
I think you hit the nail on the head. Prayer is about conforming our will to God’s. Prayer is not about changing God’s mind so that we can get what we want but about changing ours so that we will DO what God wants. Jesus said that if we pray according to God’s will we will get the desires of our heart but note that this only occurs when we are praying in God’s will.
Thanks Jim. It is such an important lesson to learn.
Peace,
Jamie
Jamie,
This reminds me so strongly of how AA teaches prayer in step 11 (of AA’s 12 steps). I can’t remember if it’s the Big Book or the 12 and 12 discussion of the step that remind me of your post. The step goes so far as to “only” pray in the way you emphasize (which goes a bit far for me) but it is a very helpful, formational corrective nonetheless to the more typical, more selfish approach to prayer and life.
By the way, I’ve really valued your feedback from a few months back re: the 12 steps as a community rule, which I and my community are still working through. Please feel free to give more insight as we continue; there aren’t many folks with similar intentions and experience to swap insights with on this stuff.
Hey T,
Yes, it can go too far making it the only way to approach prayer. I think the emphasis comes as a correction to it’s lack of emphasis prior.
Glad to hear you are all still wrestling through the steps/rule. Keep in touch!
Peace,
Jamie
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