Comments on: Come Alongside, Not Above

By: The Community Longing To Be The Church « A Living Alternative Our Missional Pilgrimage

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 01:54:52 +0000

[...] Previous Post – Coming Alongside, Not Above [...]

By: Jamie

Jamie — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 14:49:22 +0000

No worries, Carrie. Miss you heaps!

Peace,
Jamie

By: Jamie

Jamie — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 14:48:48 +0000

Christopher,

How do you mean? Feel free to reply off thread if you want.

Peace,
Jamie

By: Carrie

Carrie — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 14:45:23 +0000

Great post. I just read about this last night in the New Friars. This is what they do. They live in the slums and with the poor instead of commuting to where they are. In coming alongside, I think you can understand and relate better, too. You gave me something new to think about too – about helping people who don’t want it. Hey – it’s their choice after all, isn’t it? It’s respectful to back off. Thanks, Jamie : )

By: Christopher D. Walborn

Christopher D. Walborn — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 14:40:44 +0000

Jamie, this is one of those deep—and seemingly obvious—truths that almost no one really understands or practices. I for one know my life would be very different right now if this had not been your normal M.O.

By: Jamie

Jamie — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 14:11:55 +0000

Good point, Cindy. This principle can stand true for those closest to us even. Be encouraged in this, though: you have to be close enough to a person to make this mistake. Far too many people don’t experience this dynamics because they have chosen a means of “charity” that is far too distant. Thanks for sharing your story.

Peace,
Jamie

By: cindy

cindy — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 12:22:03 +0000

“However, more often than not we find that we fail to see where service cross-over into enabling and condescension.”

Jamie, this is so true, and it extends to “helping” people with needs who may not fall outside our perceived margins. I “helped” someone once, to the extent that I became a part of the codependent mess because I didn’t understand the principal you’re describing. At first I assumed I was just experiencing that self-sacrificing high price, only later to realize i was paying the price for my pride and not really helping anyone. Hard lessons, but, once learned, they won’t be forgotten.