Pernell and Margie Goodyear have been sharing about their recent losses over the last 18 months. Kim & I lost our first baby a couple of years ago and have not been able to become pregnant again. We grieve with them. I am reminded of something I wrote shortly after our loss. Perhaps some of you can identify. Please pray for this couple and their family.
Appleseed.
A tiny, seemingly insignificant promise of life. So much potential, so many possibilities. How will the world, the landscape be different if this seed should take root? What fruit- sweet or bitter- might it produce?
Appleseed.
The size of the cluster of cells in my wife’s womb 5 weeks after conception. In the arenas of politics, religions and science, the question might rage as to whether this little Appleseed constitutes life. However, those arguments are meaningless to us. Life or no, it represents the all the hopes and dreams of our shared love. All we can do is celebrate!
I find myself, at night, lying awake in my bed, wondering about Appleseed. Will she be a fussy baby? How many lost hours of sleep will he claim? Beyond that, I imagine the child, running around the yard with the dog. I imagine catching him on the internet, “discovering” the fairer sex. I imagine myself hating the boys who take her out on dates. I see him leaving for college, pursuing a dream I may or may not support.
As I lay there, my heart begins to race at the implications. Appleseed will have his own children. She, too, will lay awake wondering about the future of her children. Within this little, seemingly insignificant promise of life, there contains the potential for generations- literally thousand of lives, shaping and changing the world, the landscape of history. What a terrifying and thrilling responsibility to bring a life into this world!
However, Appleseed is not with us anymore. As we begin to let go of the joy of what was to come with our little one, we cannot let go of the questions. We cannot but wonder how the world will not be changed by her life.
Appleseed.
A tiny, seemingly insignificant promise of life. So much potential, so many possibilities. How would the world, the landscape have been different if this seed had taken root? What fruit- sweet or bitter- might it have produced?
*Disclaimer: This post is by no means intended to be a political or moral statement. It is not meant to affiliate myself with “Pro-this” or “Pro-that”. It is simply an honest expression of where I am at. (written April 11, 2005 by Jamie Arpin-Ricci)
[...] years ago, after living through a tragic miscarriage, the unexpected abortion of child we had planned to privately adopt & several other failed [...]